Journal,

2005-10-22T22:53:15Z

I got some rest last night. No dreams. I think it was because of my need for rest. It took me no time to sleep. I guess I should thank my temple for once.... Well I mustn't let Carragh or Bgheff know. They would never let me see the end of it.

Journal,

2005-10-17T08:15:02Z

There has been lots going on. The other day, Kyoo and Carragh had their date. In the beginning, I was called off by my temple. They wanted to discuss these dreams I started having again a few days before. And so, when I returned, moments later, we all started becoming different beings. That insolent, yet amusing Bgheff became an Imp. much like his Impish behavior. Carragh turned into a troll however, very unlike her bubbly and kind personality. Kyoo became a dark elf, same color as before.

Luckily I hadn't stopped my sleep too long before that day, otherwise I would have fallen asleep in the pie Kyoo made. He is an exceptional cook.

This evening I almost fell asleep in the tavern. Must not fall asleep, the dreams haunt me, and I can't let them come after me again. It's okay however, I see pretty images at times. And they make me laugh inwardly.

-El

Dear Journal

2005-10-12T09:13:00Z

The night started jovially enough. The learnings I had to go through were fine enough, and again no chores to do this eve. So I found myself at the tavern rather early. It was a nice evening. Laerianna came in and announced her wedding. And her pregnancy..... Another kid to enter the tavern....makes me wish for mine own. Perhaps it is for this reason when I left tonight, I was in such a melancholy mood. And also to hear of the pairings, it is a little heart wrenching to know I won't have that. Any of it.

Ah well. Such things are fated to be. And part of the reason for the stoicness, and the utter control of one's emotions is necessary. It helps to ease the understanding that things are fated, and just go on. Hmmm.... Tomorrow I think I shall surprise Carragh.....

Until the fates intertwine again,
Elenni

Dear Diary,

2005-10-11T07:51:00Z

It's been a hectic evening. In the morn I was instructed on many magics. Punishment continued today for letting me emotions getting the better of me. I feel as if i can share this with you. As it was painful. Punishments weren't too harsh. But it was very physical back breaking labor. Much of cleaning the halls with my flames and the like, getting all the nooks and crannies. Yard work, working with the lotus flames, and the fire blossoms. I used to do this work of course, every other day as part of my learning. But now I have to take over everyone else's in my year of studying as well. It is a little hectic for me, however such things are good for my will. I have to learn to control the elements, and therefore my emotions. And controlling myself while doing this hard work will help me as well.

Sorlaen tends to differ on this opinion. But the other elders have forbidden me from seeking his consul. There is something in this that nags at my mind, and he was my only connection to Selorn. Something besides my connection to Sorlaen and Selorn nags at me. I think it's the fact that my nightmare's have increased since the punishment. I think the tire I feel when I finish in the evening is starting to take a hold on me. the only relaxation I seem to find is that at the tavern. The people are kind there, and I have found a friendship in the barmaid Carragh. speaking to her, reminds me much of speaking to my sister, and I tend to revert to the ways I used to be with my sister Elhenna before she left abroad.

This evening at the tavern seemed to be rather strenuous to say the least. I was but playing with a bone, catching it on fire, letting the flames tickle me... oh how I used to remember the playful flame fights I would watch, but could not partake in. Sometimes I feel I must act the child now to replace the childhood I did not have. Regardless, the friendly Kyoo felt I was in some danger, and despite Carragh and my warnings, he decided to frost both me and Carragh. It was strange to be frosted, and it had been so long since it had happened to me. Frightful experience. My life flashed before my life, which had many unpleasantries. I know the brain is meant to stimulate pleasant thoughts, but when it finished with those, it went to the ones of fear. Which was much of what my nightmares contain. Then i guess Bgheff, that irritating, yet amusing man, decided to throw ice cold water on my person. Which of course irritated matters. Carragh said something about Kyoo attempting to give me mouth to mouth, and Bgheff putting my feet in hot water, and Carragh saying something about him attempting to make me defecate myself. Well I felt ashamed when I learned that, but glad to know none of the things to be ashamed of transpired. In the end I was heated, of course, or I would not be here. Very pleased. perhaps now they know.

But back to the dreams I know will come again tonight, for though sleep is just now reaching me, I feel tired as if all I can do is sit in flames, and let the heat soothe the tendons and my veins. One does not know full pleasure until taking a bath in a relaxing fire. Lava is too gooey. I can easily absorb the heat from it, but pure flames are much nicer. Of course one has to bathe in boiling water, but flames are good for a nice soothing time. being encompassed by those soft flickering tendrils, is something everyone should experience. I find I stare at the flames in the tavern often, and begin to daydream about the good memories I have had of them with me.

Again, I digress. The dreams. Haunting me each and every night. I feel as if I wake up in a cold sweat. Indeed I do. I wake up, and find myself crying. memories of my husband of course.... and what he... did to me. You know of that. The chains, the beating, my blood and tears. My broken heart as I saw the man I loved, the man whom I thought loved me, wrench the child as soon as it was born from my loins.... My husband who chained me, demanded my amulet.... Were it that I could give it to him. If I could, if he could possess it, I would if it would mean everything would be at peace. But I know it would not. He is but a madman. I only am destroyed at the thought of what he could be doing to my little Anellara now. he puzzled me at that moment. When he asked me, before leaving what I would like her to be named. One would almost think he cared....
Here comes tonight, with more memories, more tears, more pain.

-Elenni

In the Flames

Journal,

Journal,

Dear Journal

Dear Diary,